Fireworks on the street
cakes steaming over the stove
new pajamas
grandma’s taro pudding
lion dances and white cabbage
tea and melon seeds
the smell and feel of new banknotes
old Singapore
so long ago
New Year
Category Writing
Fifteen years
My father, in those sepia-tinted photographs,
looked forward to so much.
After so many disappointments,
he would rise like grass beaten by wind and rain,
then, bent by disease,
and, in the last insult by his own body,
taken by a stroke,
this gentle, unobtrusive man,
always in the background –
life seemed to get the better of him.
He was just a very ordinary man
who remembered all of us
by making meticulous notes of names,
birthdays,
significant events,
and cards given and received.
He did not chronicle the events of his life
nor did he write about himself,
but the things he left
show what he cared about
and how deeply he cared.
April 24, 1921 - October 1, 2007
Saint Oscar Romero
Oscar Romero was Archbishop of San Salvador when he was assassinated while officiating Mass in the chapel of the Hospital of Divine Providence. Pope Francis canonized Romero as a saint on 14 October 2018.
A Mass for the Archbishop
holy mary mother of god
have mercy
Virgins murmur at street corners
tapping five-inch heels
Officer Christos in a cruiser presses fingers to baton
On #14 the congregation rises for a hymn
gloria
peace to his people on earth
Over the spires of San Salvador the generals sang
glory glory
Rutilio Grande Alfonso Navarro Ernesto Barrera
kneeling at the altar
Choirboys in camouflage raised candles to the chancel
holy holy
“I’d like to suggest to you
that some of the investigations
would lead one to believe
that perhaps…”
sanctus sanctus sanctus dominus
deus sabaoth
“And this could have been
at a very low level of both
competence and motivation
in the context of the issue itself.”
Maria Evangelista draws a red heart on her face
Props a red shoe on the sheet
Pulls a rosary between her breasts
Blows smoke from a cigarette
pray for me a sinner
i have squandered the inheritance of your saints
Margarita opens her door for pious men
Pouring oil she warms her hands
Schubert plays the violin
Raphael reclines on sandalwood
Lilies sway on the mantelpiece
Jasmine wafts from a celadon vase
lamb of god have mercy
grant us peace
the blessing of god almighty the father the son
©Lena Tan, 1993
Quotations from Alexander Haig, U.S. Secretary of State, 1980, during an investigation into the murder of four American nuns in El Salvador. Fathers Grande, Navarro and Barrera were murdered in 1977 and 1978.
From the Wikipedia page on Oscar Romero:
“‘In less than three years, more than fifty priests have been attacked, threatened, calumniated. Six are already martyrs–they were murdered. Some have been tortured and others expelled [from the country]. Nuns have also been persecuted. The archdiocesan radio station and educational institutions that are Catholic or of a Christian inspiration have been attacked, threatened, intimidated, even bombed. Several parish communities have been raided. If all this has happened to persons who are the most evident representatives of the Church, you can guess what has happened to ordinary Christians, to the campesinos, catechists, lay ministers, and to the ecclesial base communities. There have been threats, arrests, tortures, murders, numbering in the hundreds and thousands…. But it is important to note why [the Church] has been persecuted. Not any and every priest has been persecuted, not any and every institution has been attacked. That part of the church has been attacked and persecuted that put itself on the side of the people and went to the people’s defense. Here again we find the same key to understanding the persecution of the church: the poor.’
— Óscar Romero, Speech at the Université catholique de Louvain, Belgium, 2 February 1980″
Also:
“A 2000 article by Tom Gibb, then a correspondent with the Guardian and later with the BBC, attributes the murder to a detective of the Salvadoran National Police named Óscar Pérez Linares, on orders of D’Aubuisson [Roberto D’Aubuisson, Salvadoran politician and death-squad leader, President of the Constituent Assembly from 1982 to 1983]. The article cites an anonymous former death squad member who claimed he had been assigned to guard a house in San Salvador used by a unit of three counter-guerrilla operatives directed by D’Aubuisson. The guard, whom Gibb identified as ‘Jorge,’ purported to have witnessed Linares fraternizing with the group, which was nicknamed the ‘Little Angels,’ and to have heard them praise Linares for the killing. The article furthermore attributes full knowledge of the assassination to the CIA as far back as 1983. The article reports that both Linares and the Little Angels commander, who Jorge identified as ‘El Negro Mario,’ were killed by a CIA-trained Salvadoran special police unit in 1986; the unit had been assigned to investigate the murders. In 1983, U.S. Lt. Col. Oliver North, aide to then-Vice President George H.W. Bush, is alleged to have personally requested the Salvadoran military to ‘remove’ Linares and several others from their service. Three years later they were pursued and extrajudicially killed – Linares after being found in neighboring Guatemala. The article cites another source in the Salvadoran military as saying, ‘they knew far too much to live.'” [Guardian article is here]
A small drama in one act
A cup of tea, a window seat,
An afternoon dialogue.
The scene opens on a sparse set,
My gaze left behind in rapt posture.
Words like moving pictures pass me;
I play myself in tragedy.
— Are you all alone where you are —
Longing gently touches him.
If I’m not here
where am I?
If I’m not me
who am I?
Vancouver, 1991
Text and artwork ©Lena Tan 1991/2016
Woman with attitude
Seal script for Ying, surname of the ruling house of Qin
Lady Ying of Qin
Lady Ying was a daughter of Duke Mu of Qin (reigned 659 – 620 BCE). She is one of the few women mentioned in the Zuo zhuan, or Zuo Commentary, written around the 4th century BCE, a chronological collection of narratives about the feudal states of China during the later Zhou dynasty (the Spring and Autumn Period 春秋 770 – 476 BCE). The Zuo zhuan paints her as a confident, assertive woman, even if she does not escape the restrictive role given to her by society and the deprecatory comments of the male actors in it. When I began reading the Zuo zhuan, this representation of women as complex characters in their own right was a pleasant surprise, given the strength of the patriarchal dominance of the history and literature of the age. Lady Ying’s story tells us a little bit about one woman from a period that tells us very little about women. In this excerpt, Lady Ying speaks her mind to two lords of the powerful state of Jin, the second of whom is soon to become the famous Duke Wen, hegemon of the feudal lords of the states.
In 645 BCE, Duke Mu, ruler of the state of Qin, attacked and defeated the army of the state of Jin. Duke Mu captured Duke Hui, the ruler of Jin, but allowed Duke Hui to return to Jin in exchange for his son and heir, the Taizi (“designated heir”) Yu.
In the summer (of 643 BCE), the Taizi Yu of Jin became a hostage in Qin. Duke Mu of Qin gave him as wife his daughter Lady Ying.
夏 ． 晉 大 子 圉 為 質 於 秦 ． 秦 歸 河 東 而 妻 之 ．
Yu planned to escape and said to Lady Ying, “Will you return home with this gentleman?”
將 逃 歸 ． 謂 嬴 氏 曰 ． 與 子 歸 乎 .
She replied, “You, sir, are the Taizi of Jin and you are shamed in Qin. If you, sir, wish to return home, is that not appropriate? But my unworthy lord (her father, Duke Mu of Qin) appointed this handmaid to wait on you holding towel and comb, so as to be your firm support. If I follow you in returning home, I will abandon my lord’s command. I dare not follow you, but I also dare not speak to anyone of this.” So he escaped and went home.
對 曰 ． 子 ． 晉 大 子 ． 而 辱 於 秦 ． 子 之 欲 歸 ． 不 亦 宜 乎 ． 寡 君 之 使 婢 子 侍 執 巾 櫛 ． 以 固 子 也 ． 從 子 而 歸 ． 棄 君 命 也 ． 不 敢 從 ． 亦 不 敢 言 ． 遂 逃 歸 ．
In 637 BCE, Duke Hui of Jin died and Yu took the throne. Chong-er, Duke Hui’s half-brother, had been exiled from Jin. He had been travelling from state to state seeking support from their rulers, and was now making his way to Jin to claim the throne.
In Qin, Duke Mu presented him with five women, among whom was Lady Ying. One day, she served him with a basin of water for washing. When he was done, he waved her away. She was angry and said, “Qin and Jin are equals. Why do you disparage me?” The Gongzi (“son of a duke”) was afraid and lowered his robes like a captive.
秦 伯 納 女 五 人 ． 懷 嬴 與 焉 ． 奉 匜 沃 盥 ． 既 而 揮 之 ． 怒 曰 ． 秦 晉 匹 也 ． 何 以 卑 我 ． 公 子 懼 ． 降 服 而 囚 ．
In spring of 636 BCE, Chong-er entered Jin. He sent his people to kill Yu and, with the help of Duke Mu of Qin, took the throne of Jin. He is known posthumously as Duke Wen.
Duke Wen of Jin went to meet his wife Lady Ying and they returned home. Duke Mu of Qin gave to Jin three thousand functionaries who would serve in the institutions of the government.
晉 侯 逆 夫 人 嬴 氏 以 歸 ． 秦 伯 送 衛 於 晉 三 千 人 ． 實 紀 綱 之 僕 ．
Read the rest of the story of Lady Ying.
© Lena Tan 2016. If you quote from this translation, please credit me and reference my website.
Climate Change Chronicles #1
This was written in 2007 when a prospect appeared for a collaborative art project on climate change. Nothing, however, happened, except for more weather.
There was a blinding flash. All I could see were streaks of coloured light and the Transsiberian click-clacking into the horizon. “W-a-a-a-i-t,” I shouted. “There’s something I have to tell y-o-u-u-u-u.”
As I stared into the fractal sunset, gigantic flakes of velvety snow began to fall. In the uncanny silence, a single thought punched like a can opener into my resisting mind. Al Gore — Al Gore is back!*
I tried fruitlessly to start her motorcycle. While I was pumping like a demon, a semitrailer pulled up beside me.
The driver’s eyes gleamed in his dark face under a black sombrero. “Where you wanna go?” he asked. I pointed wordlessly down the lone highway.
“Put the bike in the back and get in.”
I hoisted the bike into the insulated trailer full of strawberries and climbed into the cab beside the driver. Rachmaninov’s third piano concerto pounded from the speakers as the truck raced into the driving snow and gathering dusk.
I tried to gather my random thoughts and shape them into a recognizable form. Al Gore — on a television screen.*
Jazz notes began to fill the glasslike clarity of the night.
* This line is changed from the original. Al Gore was interviewed on CBC’s National news on July 09, 2015.
Review: Samuel Beckett, “All That Fall”
Samuel Beckett wrote All That Fall for radio broadcast and did not want it staged, saying, “Even the reduced visual dimension it will receive from the simplest and most static of readings . . . will be destructive of whatever quality it may have and which depends on the whole thing’s coming out of the dark” (quoted by Marjorie Perloff, with italic and ellipsis, in “The Silence That Is Not Silence” ). This Blackbird Theatre staging has the permission of the Beckett estate.
Throughout the production, Beckett’s portrait glows “out of the dark” down on the audience, needlessly distracting. Then, the presentation of the set as a sound studio with actors reading their parts produced an incongruity of costume and action with dialogue – should have listened to it with my eyes closed, as suggested by artistic director Duncan Fraser.
Still, a staged radio play is better than no radio play and this was a fine performance, especially Lee Van Paassen’s portrayal of Mrs. Rooney. But when Jerry gives Mrs. Rooney the thing that “looks like a kind of ball,” it makes a musical sound like a child’s toy. Mystery solved, yet, the sound was not in Beckett’s stage direction, and couldn’t have been his intention, since Mrs. Rooney says, “What is it, Dan?” (Wikipedia’s informative guide to this play provides more clues to what Beckett wished to remain “secret.”)
Perhaps the motion of actors and paraphernalia of sets can detract from the richly funny dialogue, such as this one between Mr. and Mrs. Rooney as they are walking home from the train station.
MR ROONEY: Do you know what it is, I think I shall retire.
MRS ROONEY: [Appalled.] Retire! And live at home? On your grant!
MR ROONEY: Never tread these cursed steps again. Trudge this hellish road for the last time. Sit at home on the remnants of my bottom counting the hours – till the next meal. [Pause.] The very thought puts life in me! Forward, before it dies!
[They move on. Dragging feet, panting, thudding stick.]MRS ROONEY: Now mind, here is the path… Up! … Well done! Now we are in safety and a straight run home.
MR ROONEY: [Without halting, between gasps.] A straight… run! … She calls that … a straight… run! …
MRS ROONEY: Hush! Do not speak as you go along, you know it is not good for your coronary. [Dragging steps, etc.] Just concentrate on putting one foot before the next or whatever the expression is. [Dragging feet, etc.] That is the way, now we are doing nicely.
(Samuel Beckett, Collected Shorter Plays. Grove Press, 1984.)
All That Fall was broadcast by the BBC in 1957 (joy – it’s on Youtube! search for it). In 1957, BBC was in its seventh year of broadcasting The Goon Show (search for it). You could not stage this either:
[Taxi approaches at terrific speed. Jelly thud sound.]
BLUEBOTTLE: Oooh. You’ve taxied me. Look, the Christmas strings coming off my legs.
SEAGOON: Swallow this first-aid book and custard. I’ll have your legs relacquered free and exported to Poland.
BLUEBOTTLE: You’re a fair man, sir … Merry Krudmas.
ECCLES: Oooh, Bottle. What are you doing under that taxi.
BLUEBOTTLE: It ran over me, Eccles.
ECCLES: You must be rich … I can only afford to be run over by buses.
BLUEBOTTLE: Well, my man when you’re in the big money you know, you can do things like this.
ECCLES: You see, one day I’ll have enough money to be run over by a Rolls-Royce with a chauffer.
BLUEBOTTLE: Well, pull me out then.
ECCLES: Right. Hold this.
BLUEBOTTLE: What is it?
ECCLES: I don’t know, but I got it cheap.
SEAGOON: Let me see what you got cheap.
[Tiger growl]
SEAGOON: Good heavens it’s a genuine hand-operated 1914 tiger.
(The Goon Show, No. 250, December 31, 1958, “Battle of Spion Kop.” Eccles played by Spike Milligan, Bluebottle by Peter Sellers, and Seagoon by Harry Secombe. Spike Milligan, More Goon Show Scripts. The Woburn Press, 1973. )
And a bonus for visiting: this Theater Talk interview, in which Michael Gambon and Eileen Atkins talk about their New York performances in All That Fall.
Of dreams and the remains of memories
Brain research tells us that when people start losing their memories, emotional memory is the most persistent. I didn’t know that when I wrote the following. Or perhaps I did know it and have forgotten.
Aug. 16, 1998
She remembers the twelve-year-old sleeping on the cot beside hers – warm, brown, and breathing loudly. But he’s gone, long gone. This stranger coming in now, carnations in one hand, a mason jar in the other, this tall stranger with the strong brown arms – who is he?
She remembers to smile: her mouth smiles, anyway. She asks what he’s been up to. Somewhere in that conversation, there is a spark, a remembrance of laughter, from mouth to eyes to brain to heart – the heart is another muscle and needs to be exercised.
It’s eight o’clock and the visitors are leaving. He leans over the bed and reaches his arms around her. He pats her on the back and she holds herself up straight. “I’ll try to come again. I’ll come again,” he says. “See you, mom.”
This stranger is gone, but the boy, where did he go?
Gift-wrapped angel
Angel #6 of 7
Peace on earth, dammit.
Dark Queen
There was a time when I was still using Windows95 and hooked on Freecell.
April 7, 1998
Kid: Mom?
Mom: Hey hon.
K: Were you talking to yourself?
M: Why do you say that?
K: Let me put it this way. Stop talking to yourself. It’s scaring me.
M: I’m not talking to myself.
K: Well, you’re talking to somebody and I don’t see anyone.
M: All right. I’m talking to the computer.
K: And it’s talking to you?
M: Well, yeah. See, the Queen of Spades is….
K: Now you’re really scary.
M: Go back to bed.
K: How come I don’t get to play so late?
M: ‘Cause you have to go to school.
K: Mom, tomorrow’s a P.D. day.
M: ‘Cause you’re a kid.
K: Yeah? Well, you’re crazy.
M: Go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.
K: It is morning.
M: Go to bed.
K: Only if you stop talking to yourself.
M: OK – go…. Now where was I?
K: I can hear you!
Must work to free the Queen. The Queen speaks when freed, gives advice on critical issues. “Invalid parameters. Try again.” Losing streak: the Queen can’t be freed; life falls apart. “Fatal error. This program is closing because of invalid input.” Students are macho, racist. Boyfriend becoming verbally abusive. “Enter user-defined string.”
Driving home after dinner with parents.
K: Mom, are you watching the road?
M: Aaaa… yeah, I’m watching the road.
K: The Queen of Spades isn’t here you know.
M: Yeah, I know.
Found Images 